home for the weekend

or how to retreat to the suburbs.

big boy: First thing when you get home to your parent's house is to re-create your brother's signature cocktail, the Big Boy. It's imperative that it comes in a very specific beveled beer mug (shown below). Fill the vessel with ice. Pour in your vodka. I'd say up to the middle of the second bevel. Add seltzer water up to the 3rd bevel. Splash in some grapefruit juice, or a lime. There you go Big Boy.

fishies besties

little known fact is tillops and chinookers are besties fishies friendZ. I keep them huddled in this leek pile, and drizzled over orange tangerang sauce. lip smack yum!

ingrates 4 tangerang saucers

3 fresh squeezed citrus bombs
1/2 cup dry vino blank

simma til it goos down, pour over everything you ever eat until the end of timeZzzz!!!!!

caw! your friends over cawleyflower

in the skilly fry fry the cawley in a hint of olly oilZ until slightly burnies. in the food professor spinner go some gahlicky roast peppies and two hunkos of tofutties. mix round in the skilly with some saltZ y peppos. yum you guys, serious yummos.

strawberry rhubarb pie

Going strong about 3 Big Boys in I mean you weren't going to leave without having dessert, and you even made your own crust, also with vodka because science, specifically that alcohol evaporates, so if you use too much liquid your crust will still turn out light and flaky, and because you listen to a lot of npr, specifically this one time around Thanksgiving when they featured that woman with the heavy voice talking about all the different meats, she really emphasized the "-Ts" the meaTs, you know? and now you're juicing oranges, and mixing the fruits with the sugar and the juice, and the pie crust seems delicate, it was easier than you thought it would be to make, and you plop everything in the pan, and lattice the dough, it falls apart a little so you pinch it back together like the pros do, you're definitely not going to drive an hour and pay 10$ in tolls after you bake this pie to see your old friend/fling whatever there's no language for people anymore these days, you're definitely going to stay home and watch some tv on your parent's couch, definitely not going to smoke cigarettes on his front porch, because you quit smoking, and you have a really strong will, you're just going to stay right here and fall asleep in your bed, maybe kind of lonely, but you'll be just fine, you're definitely not a crazy person who needs to be around people all the time, definitely not going to get to your friends' house, have a chit chat and then tell him you don't want to sleep with him that you're just a crazy lonely person who wants to feel validated, you're not going to turn him down, and then scoot right back around and drive home, and you're definitely not going to contemplate that you've constructed a pattern here, or let the irony that you hate being alone yet couldn't be more single, single for so long, on your own, why why why, everyone seems to have it together and everyone is together kissing and fucking and making babies together all day and all night, well you just refuse to settle, but all of those settling folks seem mighty happy, especially at this hour, I mean you're definitely not letting that come into your little brain you're just going to stay right here at home fall asleep before the sun comes up, not gonna watch the light change, not gonna drink one more Big Boy on the deck, watching all the green textures appear from the darkness, you'll be fast asleep, tucked in safe and sound, you're ok you know you are ok you aRE OK.