Caesar Salad

Remember the time you were just kind of skating by, working a number of part time jobs, hooking up with a lot of 23 year olds, and eating ceasar salad every day? maybe try and get back to that! because if we're really being honest with each other, there is nothing better than visiting the SPCA adoption site, reading celebrity gossip, and curating your facebook page for hours. Don't forget to pay the rent.

Hall and Days Saws 4or awl phood OK-shins

on a hang over day wakey wakey it can be so hard. ok there's only 2 eggs in the cold closet, don't panic you can make this work because you are a budding ingenue in this prickly life. separate the yolks from the whites of those eggs. in with the yolks in the pan goes a spash of vinegar and a splash of lem juice. ok you also need warm butter, likke butter that's been sitting out, but your butter is cold from the cold closet! again don't panic. do you have a hammer? I have three hammers. hammer the butter, this will make it soft and therefore usable for this dish. cut the butter into chunks to get ready for the wisk. ok pan with yolks and other stuff is on the low heat, and you are wisking it. Once it starts to be thick add in hunks-a butter one hunko at a time as it melts and you wisk. it will get thick and then when all the butter is used up sprinkle in some cayenne peppies salt and peps for flav. and really you can pour this over anything. I didn't have much so I made some toast, cooked of the egg whites and poured it over that, but really this sauce tastes good on just about anything on this green earth.

chizzay brockolinis!

steem thy brockolinis fore t10 minnies ore sew, until yore forkspear spins in smooth to the stawk. meen wyle wisky up a roux with some butters and flower. when its turning thick add some warm milk and wisk wisk until turning thick more. then add some grated chizzay like cheddar or sum Good God Gouda! maybe add in sum cayenne peppies, black peppies, and salt sprinklies! then pore it all over the brock.

lem lem noodles

you know that mitch hedberg joke fettuccini alfredo is mac and cheese for adults well lem lem noodles is mac and cheese for adults who had to wait five days for their stove to be turnt on. boil the noodles of your choise. we wanted mini bow ties so that's what we got. after the nurdles are ready, take a bitty bot of the boilwuter in a cup to the side. Strain the bows and then coat with a hunk o butters and a little of the starchy wa wa to make nice on the pahst. then whiskers up a bowl with some egg yolkels, crema, parmsan, chippity choppity garlic bits, and zestie lem lem skin. Pour all over the bow tie nurdles. toppers with a choise of yore herbs, like parsely o oregano, or literally anything! anything you want, they're nurdles of yore after all.

Nigella Lawson makes sexy linguine.

root beer floaties

sometimes business store managers don't prioritize root beer as they should and foolishly leave it un-refrigerated in the aisles of their retail location. if you need to cool down your root beer fast because your float craving has reached ravenous limits, don't panic. simply place several ice cubes in a cup and add the soda. then strain into another vessel to avoid a watered down flavor. add vanilla ice cream.

toast from France, just like the French do it

heat your skillet and melt some buuters in there while you give your sore dough bread a bath in some milky eggos til they go soggers. add the eggo bredskies to the hot skilly and flip wants its goldy oldies. den when it''s cooked up and crisps add it to your plate and cut into monster bite side piecies. this allows for maxiumum soak of the maypole seerp, which you will now apply atop your frenched toast.

red snapper

what a bute the red snaps is in the eye of the beholden. no man shall reject this pink shade upon his plate for it is mothwatering flow of happiness on the fork. ease of brain to cook. this friend is stuffed with lemon and onion, maybe some other stuff I cant recaw. oven baker to 4-hundo. 12 minnies or so.